The Church of Common Sense

Founding Charter

Preamble

We, the voluntarily sentient, seeking shelter from fanaticism, foolishness, and excessive seriousness, do hereby establish The Church of Common Sense. We recognize no deity but decency, no scripture but observation, and no commandment save one: Don’t be a dick.

Article I — Purpose

The Church exists to promote empathy, reason, humor, and accountability through fellowship, satire, and civic good sense. Its mission is not to save souls but to prevent nonsense before it breeds.

Article II — Core Beliefs

1. Reality is sacred. If evidence contradicts belief, belief must yield.
2. Humor is prayer. Laughter keeps arrogance from metastasizing.
3. Science is confession. We admit what we don’t know and test the rest.
4. Freedom of inquiry is divine. Question everything, including this charter.
5. Kindness is mandatory; obedience is optional.

Article III — The One Commandment

Don’t be a dick.

Interpretations are endless; enforcement is internal.

Article IV — Organization

• Keepers of the Obvious — rotating moderators who guide discussion, maintain levity, and extinguish dogma.
• Heralds of Reason — recorders of teachings, memes, and minutes in plain language.
• Custodians of Context — fact-checkers ensuring truth outruns rumor.

All offices are temporary; robes are optional; irony is mandatory.

Article V — Scripture

The official canon is The Book of Mostly Obvious Things, a living anthology of wit and wisdom. Additions require consensus, laughter, or at least a good pun.

Article VI — Rituals

1. The Weekly Re-Evaluation — share a moment you were, in fact, a dick, and what you learned.
2. The Communion of Coffee & Donuts — breaking bread without breaking patience.
3. The Festival of Mild Annoyance — an annual holiday celebrating humanity’s glorious stupidity.
4. The Moment of Reasonable Silence — pause, breathe, and think before replying.

Article VII — Membership

Anyone with a pulse and a sense of humor may join. Excommunication is impossible; embarrassment is self-administered.

Article VIII — Ethics

Act with integrity, skepticism, and mercy; engage in charitable deeds; correct misinformation with patience and memes.

Article IX — Funds

Should funds exist, they support education, critical thinking, and public acts of kindness. No gold thrones. Maybe nice chairs.

Article X — Amendments

Any member may propose an amendment with evidence, satire, or snacks. Majority laughter constitutes ratification.

Seal: an open eye with a light bulb. Motto: Faith in Thought.

Hymn: “The Only Rule Worth Keeping”

(slow, irreverent gospel cadence)

Verse 1
We gathered here, not high nor low,
No robes, no crown, no holy show.
Just people tryin’ to live and think—
And not make life a stinkin’ stink.

Chorus
Don’t be a dick, that’s all we preach,
No ancient scroll, no soul to bleach.
If kindness fails, take one more try—
And leave the world less dumb when you die.

Verse 2
No tithes to pay, no sin to sell,
No fiery pits, no pearly shell.
Just share your beer, your truth, your wit—
And own your crap when you step in it.

Bridge
When fools declare they’ve seen the light,
Remember: lamps can blind at night.
A spark of sense will serve you best—
When morals break, apply this test:

Chorus (repeat)
Don’t be a dick, it’s plain and neat,
No saint required, no judgment seat.
One golden rule, no need for tricks—
Common sense says: Don’t be a dick.

Outro
So raise your glass, your mind, your hand,
To logic, laughter, and this band.
For heaven’s not a place you pick—
It’s how you live: don’t be a dick.
      

The Book of Mostly Obvious Things — Scripture 1.0

1. Gravity does not negotiate. Objects fall. So do egos. Only one of them ever learns from the experience.
2. Kindness isn’t a weakness. It’s tactical empathy—an evolutionary cheat code that keeps the species from imploding before lunch.
3. If you must choose between being right and being useful, pick useful. History forgets the correct fool faster than the practical one.
4. Silence beats drama nine times out of ten. The tenth time, use memes.
5. Before arguing online, check if the topic will matter after you die. If not, go water a plant instead.
6. Your freedom ends where someone else’s nose begins. A rule useful for both politics and bar fights.
7. Certainty is a drug. Take half a dose and read the side effects.
8. Facts don’t care about feelings, but feelings decide whether anyone hears the facts. Communicate like you’re talking to a person, not an algorithm.
9. Never attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity—or wifi issues. Sometimes it’s the router, not the reptilians.
10. If you can’t explain it simply, you might not understand it. Or you’re being paid by the hour.
11. Don’t seek a guru when Google will do. But verify both sources.
12. Sarcasm is holy when used for defense, not domination. The witless should not wield the snarky.
13. Apologies cost nothing, yet inflation has made them rare. Spend freely.
14. The universe owes you nothing, but your neighbors owe you basic decency. Collect that debt by example.
15. If you find yourself in a mob, ask who’s profiting. Hint: it isn’t you.
16. No one has ever won a debate by yelling “Calm down!” Volume is not a virtue.
17. Most conspiracies collapse under the weight of how lazy people actually are. Evil requires a work ethic.
18. Don’t confuse confidence with competence. Louder doesn’t equal smarter; it just means your mic is on.
19. If your beliefs require ignoring reality, try unsubscribing from them. They don’t offer tech support.
20. You are not entitled to an audience. You’re entitled to speak; the rest is up to acoustics.
21. Cynicism feels like wisdom but ages like milk. Skepticism with humor is the healthy alternative.
22. If you meet someone with no sense of humor, treat them as endangered. Do not poke; observe quietly.
23. Losing an argument gracefully is a superpower. Few possess it; none regret it.
24. Information is not wisdom; it’s just ammunition. Use carefully or expect friendly fire.
25. The first sign of intelligence is changing your mind. The second is not tweeting about it immediately.
26. Laughter and learning share a neural pathway. That’s why sermons should have punchlines.
27. Every generation thinks it’s the smartest and the last. Half right each time.
28. The moral high ground has poor cell reception. Visit, don’t live there.
29. Forgive yourself, but not so fast you skip the lesson. Redemption without reflection is just rebranding.
30. When in doubt, don’t be a dick. The alpha and omega of the Common Sense creed.

Become a Keeper of the Obvious

We rotate roles. No prophets, no halos—just moderators with good humor. When this becomes a live community, you’ll self-nominate to serve a short term as Keeper, Herald, or Custodian. For now, share the site and practice the commandment.