Principle: Accuracy matters. So does how you carry it.
Truth without care becomes a weapon.
If your goal is understanding, humiliation is counterproductive even when you're correct.
The Failure Mode: Using Truth As A Club
Signs you're clubbing:
- You correct to dominate.
- You correct to punish.
- You correct in public when private would work.
- You add sarcasm because you're "right."
Humiliation poisons even correct information.
A Better Correction Pattern
1) Permission: "Do you want feedback?"
2) Specific observation: "When you said X, I heard Y."
3) Impact: "That lands as Z."
4) Invite: "Would you be open to another way to phrase it?"
If they say "no," you can set a boundary without a lecture.
In The Wild (Examples)
Correcting a friend's wrong fact:
- Club: "How do you not know this?"
- Care: "Small correction: it's actually _. Easy mistake."
Correcting a rude joke:
- Club: "You're disgusting."
- Care: "That joke is mean. I'm not doing that here."
Correcting online misinformation:
- Club: dunking for likes.
- Care: concise correction + source + no contempt.
The Practice (This Week)
- Correct ideas, not people.
- Remove sarcasm from one correction you would normally make.
- If you feel the urge to embarrass, don't correct yet. Reset first.
Reflection (Optional)
When do you reach for being right to avoid being kind?